The Republican Fiction Project

New Years represents an opportunity for all Republicans to set strong resolutions that will make them better conservatives and, at the end of the year, better Republicans. It’s also a great day to watch football. We encourage all Republicans and those secular liberals looking for salvation to adopt these New Years resolutions and to share their own resolutions with us. Happy New Year!

1. Find the best tax shelter your income bracket can afford.
2. Buy American or as close as you can get.
3. When discussing evil; be clear that you are referring to liberals or the French.
4. Report all suspicious activity to the FBI.
5. Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and Dodge.
6. Make more “me” time.
7. Spread the good word about Republican Values™.
8. Support the Troops.
9. Fight the wars on terror, Christmas, family values, drugs, cancer, prayer in schools, teen pregnancy, etc.
10. Visit republicanfiction.com every day.

Whooo, that was a close one, but we managed to win another victory in the war on Christmas. The godless secularists who are trying so hard to make sure your kids can’t celebrate Christmas are on the ropes. The White House is right on the front lines in the war, but instead of diverting the troops who are fighting in the global war on terror (How they consider the two to be different is beyond me). This year, Republicans are choosing the battleground, the nation’s National Parks. Check out the new Barney cam video where W uses the family dog to point out how we can use the national parks to push Christmas out to the people. At least that is what I think they were doing, I didn’t watch the whole thing.